The Bluest Eye-Autumn

How did the speaker feel about dolls? Was it the same view as grown- ups?

        The speaker does not enjoy the doll. She confesses that she was "physically revolted"(Morrison pg.20) by the doll and that it "frightened her"(pg. 20). She only wanted to dismember it and discover where the beauty everyone around her was talking about. She was fond of taking them apart and trying to harm them because of her jealousy and hatred towards them. Since all the grown-ups thought the doll was pretty and that she should take great care of it because it was special she grew even more angry questioning why they thought the white baby doll was so special and pretty and not her.

What would have been an ideal Christmas for the speaker?
         She wants her father to play the violin for her and sit on her mother's lap alone. She wants the both of them to herself and to feel secure and warm.

Read the two paragraphs found at the beginning of page 22 which starts with "But the dismembering ....without improvement" Look particularly at the last line. What does it mean?
        The two paragraphs describe the speakers create disdain toward her white barbie dolls and white girls in general. It displays her great jealousy and her inability to understand why people think so highly of the white dolls and girls. She is then disgusted and ashamed of  herself for feeling that way for allowing her anger to take control over her.So, in the last line she tries to cover it up by loving the white girls and dolls just like everyone else around her. She thinks she can hide her flaws and change them by learning to love and show affection towards them. However, her hatred is merely concealed beneath her attempt to love them and has not changed at all.